Love is a beautiful thing. At first, marriage can be the best thing to ever happen to some. Well into marriages, many couples experience marital strife. This martial fallout always has an everlasting effect on children. Some couples may choose to resolve their differences through therapy, while others just let it slip away into divorce. The most dreaded day for children is when their parents get served with divorce papers. It completely shatters their world and changes their life perspective. The effects of divorce on children are varying, but almost always negative.
Anti Social Behavior
Children whose parents recently got divorced, over time, slip into destructive social behavior. They sink into a dark place and continuously look for ways to escape their mental dungeons.
It gets difficult for them because they feel uncertain about what the future has in store for them.
They pick up bad traits, hang around bad influences, and generally engage in anti-social activities. Drug use and alcohol abuse are a common struggle for many children of divorce.
Divorce can be one of the root causes of depression in children. At the tender age, children do not have the will to persevere like there divorcing parents.
It all feels very strange to them. One minute they have a happy home, the next, they’re products of a broken home. Divorce has a lasting effect on their mental capacity. Sometimes they get bullied in school when their school mates learn about their parent’s divorce.
All these bottlenecks can build up into a state of constant depression for children. And when they’re depressed, nothing seems to appeal to them. They lose touch with everything and wish they never existed. Some of them may blame themselves for being the reason why their parents got divorced.
Some children may become suicidal after they sink into depression. They feel that there’s nothing for them to live for. It can depend on the mental capacity of the child. Some children have the will to take it on the chin, while others crumble like rose petals.
There are many signs of this. If you notice children leaving cryptic messages, stopping social activities, becoming seclusive, or lashing out, then that child may be suicidal.
It doesn’t help that their parents are divorced. Often there’s nobody to notice what they’re going through.
Effects of Divorce On Academics
One of the most harmful effects of divorce on children is a dive in their academic performance. For starters, children begin to slip into a state where they can’t comprehend anything in school. Words seem like numbers, and numbers like words. It spirals until their grades start suffering.
Their brains are stuck on the divorce like a loop, and they are entirely shut out from schoolwork. If they don’t have a school counselor that notices this and tries to be their pillar of support through this dark patch, this can have long term implications for their life.
Children who do not understand the ins and outs of their parent’s divorce feel guilty. They resort to self-blame to justify the reasons for their parent’s divorce.
Children who aren’t informed or counseled by their parents that they’re not the reason for their divorce may end up feeling guilty and blaming themselves for the rest of their lives.
The right thing for divorcing parents to do is to provide clarity to their children, open up to them, talk to them, and make them see reasons why the divorce is the best thing for the family. By doing this, it may give the child some closure.
What Parents Can Do?
Divorce can be hard on children. Couples should endeavor to make it work in their marriage for the sake of their children.
Research has shown children of divorced parents go through a rough patch while growing up. And this rough patch extends into their adult life and may also have ripple effects on their children.
So, if parents must divorce, please do it the right way. Talk to your kids and make them understand why you’re taking this grown-up decision for your future and theirs.
Let them know that even if you’re getting divorced, you will still be there for them as parents. And you should ensure you match your words with action.
Do you have more suggestions, or have you had any experiences with the effects of divorce on children? Please share your thoughts.